Tuesday 19 August 2014

BAG- BAG- GGGG AAAA BAG- (Hot Cross Buns for Recorder aficionados)

Ok, you are probably wondering how I am preparing for my trip to Kenya.  You imagine sensible activities like research or vaccinations or shopping for bug spray.  But no, you would imagine wrong - I am taking recorder lessons.

One day, before my Kenya trip was even a twinkle in my eye, I was wandering around Value Village.  I noticed that they had a bucket of recorders for sale.  I don't know why this stuck in my head, it's not like I usually keep a mental inventory of Value Village goods.  But, they did.  After I booked my tickets to Kenya to somehow help with small children, I came to the 'way too late' realization that I have no idea how to keep small children entertained.  Maybe the panic forced the memory of those recorders back to the front of my mind.  Whatever it was, I decided to buy a bucket of recorders to take to Africa for the students.  I went into the Village of Value and found the manager, Carley (Karly, Carli - pick a spelling, it is as likely to be right as mine). Carley listened to my story about kids in Africa and was kind enough to lower to price of the recorders for me.  I bought them all. 

So, now I own 20 or so recorders.  Hmmm.  Again with the 'way too late' realization, I realized that I have no idea how to play the recorder, let alone teach a bunch of kids how to play.  And if they can't play, all I will have done is hand out very noisy, annoying sticks for them to make screechy noises and hit each other with.  I believe Westerners have already done enough damage to the African continent without adding that insult to their injuries. 

I googled 'recorder lesson in Victoria' and actually found two teachers.  Bonus - Larson Music was having a summer special for 5 lessons as long as they are taken before the end of August.  So, I signed up for my lessons with Joe to start that very day.

Joe, who coincidentally is dating Carolyn, a woman I work with, who is also very nice.
 Let me start by saying I am not musical.  No really.  You don't know how not musical I am (well, Alisma has an inkling).  Poor Joe is working with unformed clay here.  And while he may be a master, this clay just can't form into a vase.  He'll be lucky to mold me into an ashtray.  (My analogy may have gotten away from me there).  Anyway...  For example of my potential ashtrayness, first Joe asked me to name a style of music I liked.  I could not think of one.  He then asked me to name a group.  Of course, my old fall back, Simon & Garfunkel.  He played a piece and I thought, oh great, he has picked some obscure S&G song that I don't know.  But it turned out to be Bridge over Troubled Water, my very favourite song, I just didn't recognize it (not Joe's fault, I assure you).  In the next lesson he asked me to name a Beatle's song.  I could not name one.  I don't know why he didn't give up right then and there. 

First lesson, Joe taught me the first three chords - B, A & G.  Thus the Hot Cross Buns. I was so excited, I can read music!! He said I was good enough that first day to learn another two - C & D.  I suggested that I might be a musical savant.  Joe did not agree.  So, 30 minutes in, I had five chords to work with.  I became as master at 'Ode to Joy' by day three.  I played the crap out of 'Ode to Joy'.  I even practiced at work, much to the chagrin of my office mates.  Even a closed door cannot mask the sound of badly played Beethoven.

Next lesson, Joe taught me tempo.  I should amend that to 'tried' to teach me tempo.  This is where I started to learn that making music with musical instruments involves more than just making sounds.  One has to make those sounds at the right beat.  Tempo started to chip away at my confidence.  I practiced more.  Joe assured me that I could master tempo (Joe is a kind man and a good teacher but I may be his Waterloo). 

Lesson three - Joe showed me two more chords - F & E (and another one, low D but I don't want to even talk about low D, it's too traumatic, please never mention it again).  F broke me.  And E didn't even get a chance.  I tried to practice a piece with an F in it.  I immediately forgot my first five chords, and tempo - it's like tempo stood still (haha).  There is so much to remember and do - ALL AT THE SAME TIME!.  I have not given up.  I have a recorder book and another one on the way. I bought a $5 metronome.  I plan to dig through Chris's shed because she thinks there is a music stand in there.  But, I know my limitations.  I will never be good, or even mediocre.  But I can still teach those tots to play some basics.  As long as those basics do not involve an F chord. 
 
Anyway.  I can play 'Ode to Joy' mostly, as long as I don't think about F or E.  So, all across Kenya, the off tempo melody of Beethoven's 5th will squeak across the land.  You're welcome Africa.


Plug for Joe.  Seriously, if you want to learn any sort of Wind-y instrument, he is your guy. 
http://joemusic.ca/